Reflection

In this final paper for this class, I feel I attempted to reach a bit further in my thoughts than I have with most of our work. When thinking about what I was going to do, I began toying with the idea that I was not so different from the monster in early years education. We faced difficulties and had many things stand in our way.  But that was not enough. I keep reaching further into myself and into ideals that society presents. And I came to discover something during my writing.  I longed not to be seen as stupid or dumb just cause I could not read or write as well as others, and the creature from Shelley’s novel just longed to not be along or seen as a hideous monster. And I thought to myself “Does the desire to fit in or not be different create monsters in ourselves?” And I answered to myself “Yes!” Everyone wants to fit in and not be seen as something different. For we all see different as something frightening, when it really is just something we do not understand. So when I recalled De Lacey’s meeting the creature, he was the perfect example of a judgement free man, for he was blind. He did not judge based on looks (or disabilities), but by what he could interpret and see as character. All in all, I just kept finding more similarities between parts of the creature’s tale and my own life. Of course not exact matches, but similar struggles and disappointments. 

But that is life. It is all one huge struggle, with many disappointments. But I see so much more out of that, more room to grow, to go after things that seem impossible, to just have a chance to live all that should be lived and not weighed down by what may seem like an unbearable burden.

So I see my to-do-list with a bit brighter of eyes, knowing that, yes, I am not good at writing, I am not a very strong reader, and I am not the best at all areas of English, but I do know I can do the best I can. And also striving to become better with each task set before me. To out do myself, grow stronger with each struggle I overcome, and eliminate the monster I found inside myself.

Final Writing Project…Odi et Amo With a Twist

Odi et Amo With a Twist

            Pain can be described in many forms: pain can be the result of physical or emotional injuries, and pain can also be the result of particular hardships.  These hardships have been a major part of my life when reading and writing were the tasks.  Reading and writing are supposed to be an educational and even fun event to partake in, however, in my view, they were neither.  My opinions on reading and writing are deeply rooted in the hindrences I faced in the beginning of my education civilization.  However, I am not the only one who faced hindrences in the beginning of “civilization.”  Mary Shelley’s creature in Frankenstein faced many issues when attempting to simply gain more knowledge.  The creature in the novel reveals the monster that I have contained inside myself, with many related and unrelated issues corresponding to our development into “civilization.”

            As long as I can remember, I have hated reading and writing.  There are many things in life that I dislike, but nothing as much as having to read or write.  You would think that this hatred is because I was a typical child that wanted to go play outside and do anything but what my parents told me to do; however, this is not quite the case in my situation.  I struggle with reading and writing due to a disorder called dyslexia.  Dyslexia is a learning disorder in which words are easily mixed up and even syllables in words are mixed up, for example aminal instead of animal.  Now in the case of the creature, well, he did not have a reading disablity like mine, but he did have to teach himself how to read.  I can only imagine the struggle it would have taken him to learn such a complex language all alone.  The creature and I share a common characteristic inside our struggles beginning to learn.  The creature taught himself everything and once he knew all that he needed to know, he became an intellectual being; however, he was still held back by something he could never escape, his appearance.  I am not going to be vain and say that I am really good looking, but I feel that I do not possess the same physical features that the creature did, but I do possess a related quality inside my disorder.  Once I was able to read and write, I struggled greatly in my learning.  The creature had such ease once he gained knowledge, but I, like him, remained detered. 

            Thinking back on certain situations now, I can remember my mom helping me to read but I hated having to try.  I honestly wanted to give up, but everywhere I looked, reading was a necessity.  I think I had it easier than the creature for I was not visably different looking, but I do believe that we both retained a fear of what others would think.  His fear derived itself from looking different, my fear came from not wanting to look/sound different.  And there I found it, I found my own personal monster…myself.  Now this is not a monster in that I attack innocent random people, but a monster in that I never fully cared about all that I received.     

            In the novel, the creature began to tell Victor Frankenstein of all that he experienced from his creation up until their meeting.  Of how he came across a village and attempted to get food but found himself unaccepted by the villagers.  And of how he observed De Lacey’s family in the cottage, learning emotions, and language, and reading.  However, he had a definite interest in all of that, I most certainly did not.  .  I never did the work that was assigned, I never read the books we were given to read, and I blocked out the world of reading and writing from my care.  I feel almost guilty when I look back to what I had in my educational development.  I had so many people there for me, helping me along, and the creature had no one there to help him. Though the creature is a fictional character, I still feel guilty for never really appreiciating what I had.

Even through the guilt and hardships faced, there exists a time when things change.  For me, that was high school.  The reasons things changed were because my parents threatened to take away sports, they warned me that college would not be an option if I kept going down this path, and lastly, I met my best friend my freshman year.  You may find the last reason strange, but it is the most significant of all the reasons listed.  Laura Myers (that would be my best friend) is an extraordinary person who changed my life.  She was a reader.  Everytime I saw her, she had a book in her hands.  After she would finish a book, she would tell me about it and then ask if I wanted to borrow it to read.  Numerous times I refused, but one day, I accepted her offer.  Our junior year had just started, and as embarrassed as I am to say this, she had just finished reading the book Twilight.  This became the first book I read simply for the purpose of just reading a book; this book made me fall in love with reading.  It was not the story contained in the book, but the representation that the book had for me.  This book was the gateway into an entirely different world I never knew existed because I was never willing to look.  On the other hand, the creature thrived for any oportunity to learn and discover more.  For instance, when he discovered the bag of books and clothing in the woods near the cottage, his excitement upon this discovery gave him extreme joy.  A joy which finally, I understood after such a long battle.  Laura was to me what De Lacey was to the creature when they had first met.  De Lacey’s blindness prevented him from seeing the creature for his exterier, and Laura did not care to see me for my disablities, but simply gave me a chance to grow.  However, the ending of my story is much happier than the creature’s ending.

I have since faced fewer and fewer issues with reading and writing.  All it took was that one time, and that one person to cause a serious change in my life.  The same goes for the creature, except that his change was most definately not for the better.  De Lacey’s family did not accept him for anything but his hideous appearance, causing him to long even more greatly for companionship; something which he never found.  And yet again, I find myself feeling guilty; for I, never desiring more from an education on account of my disability, got all that the creature himself desired with all that he had.  I received an education, I found companions like myself.  But in all that I had I still found it.  I found that I am, myself, indeed a monster.

Writing Assignment #4

Once Upon a Text

            Once upon a time there was a little girl that all who lived in the village adored.  Since she wore a red riding cloak all the time, she was called by the name of Red.  One day her mother told her to take a basket of items to her sick grandmother.  All she had to do was follow the path and not wander off.  As you may very well know, she ran into the wolf on her journey there and told him her destination.  The wolf raced onward to the grandmother’s house, gobbled her up, and waited for Red to arrive.  And in the end she became dinner for the wolf.  Depending on the version of the tale you read, Red and her grandmother live because the huntsman saves them or they die in the belly of the wolf.  The End.  Oh wait, there is more, isn’t there?  There is so much more to the tale of Little Red Riding Hood than that because there are many other versions and insights to the tale in the world, such as the one on the site RedRidingHood.  Some would not consider this site a legitimate form of text, but through the feminist meaning and many references towards a few of the written versions of the fairy tale (by Charles Perrault and the Grimm Brothers), this site is an appropriate literary text.

            Now I know what you are thinking, “What is an appropriate literary text?”  A literary text does not require words or a tangible printed book to hold in your hands and read.  A literary text can possess many forms when depicting a story or tale.  The site RedRidingHood is the perfect example.  RedRidingHood depicts a feminist perspective on the classic tale with many different, yet relevant elements from the original.  For example, Red does not wear the traditional girly dress and red silk cape with the attached hood.  She wears a red sleeveless shirt accompanied by black pants.  This is clearly a feminist touch on the tale.  There are also many more elements to the site that are quite different than the tale, for instance Red’s dreams.  The dreams reflect the author’s ideas that the wolf already existed in Red’s life, that he was “pre-existing as a picture in her diary, as a dealer at the ‘flesh market,’ an angel which does not stop to rescue her” (Leishman).  Basically, none of this previously existed in the original tales written by Charles Perrault and the Grimm Brothers.  But remember, that is almost the point of this site; to display a different perspective but maintain the connection to the written works. 

Almost certainly, Sven Birkerts would disagree that this site is at all a text with or without the connections to the original tale.  “I would have to say good-bye to a certain way of looking at the world because that way is bound up with a set of assumptions about history and distance, and difficulty and solitude and the slow work of self-making—all of which go against the premises of instantaneousness, interactivity, sensory stimulation and ease” (Birkerts 213).  Birkerts simply does not view the technological world with much fancy and he most certainly would argue that this is not a text at all.

            Birkerts would have good reasoning to argue that this is not a text too.  For one, there are only a few times in the progression of the site that there are actual printed words to be read (or selected).  “How can this be a text if there are basically no words for reading?” he would ask.  Well, it is not necessary for words to be present to obtain a full experience in the literary sense from this site.  In his novel, he talks of how when reading printed works, the reader enters the novel and the world it has contained inside it.  Is that not the same with this site?  Can we not become consumed by the world created inside the site?  Birkerts describes the “miracle” of reading taking place due to one thing, one “shared medium, language” (Birkerts 82).   “We bring the words…into ourselves.  We engulf them in our consciousness and then allow ourselves to be affected by them” (Birkerts 82).  So language is the connection he finds when reading.  If this connection exists through language, then this proves the site RedRidingHood possesses literary merit as a text.  Language is perceived in many different ways, such as sign language (a visual language) and written languages.  The site contains a language that is comprehensible through just simple observation.  So, an experience like Birkerts’ reading experience can happen when observing this site.  You can experience a “miracle” similar to reading and allow yourself to be affected. 

            Once again, once upon a time there was a little girl named Red.  She had many written tales, oral stories, and electronic sites created about her.  The arguments against some of the electronic sites, like RedRidingHood, about not being legitimate forms of text appear foolish given the amount of credibility they possess in correlation to many of the original written works of Little Red Riding Hood.

Compost Writing Project #4

The site that I plan to evaluate is RedRidingHood: http://collection.eliterature.org/1/works/leishman__redridinghood.html 

I plan to explain how this site has relevance as a literary text. Though it does lack certain properties of an acutal text, i.e. words, it still possesses certain elements that I find to be approriate. In Birkerts conclusion he explains how the magazine Wired is designed to draw people in with the ideal that “That was then and this is now.” And how “unbroken columns of print suddenly seem like visual molasses.” I find this statement relevant in that since this site lacks visual words and presents a new view on the original tale, that this is not “visual molasses” but rather another approach towards literary texts.

This site does present an extremely feminist view towards the original tale with a few twists. The feminism that exists in this tale has been explored in much depth since the tale came about. I plan to explore a few of the feminist approaches including this site inside my paper.

But the counter argument that I forsee would possibly even come from Birkerts himself, for this site is not exactly a text at all. It does lack words and also the fact that one cannot control the directionality of the site except when wanting to continue forward (not backward). Therefore the fact that there is the possibility that RedRidingHood is not a text lies in the lacking elements the site has. However, the elements that are present that relate to the original fairy tale, in my opinion, give the site credibility as a text.

RedRidingHood

The fairy tale of Little Red Riding Hood is one of the most famous tales in cultures throughout the world. Though this site from the Electronic Text archive does not have a large portion of “text”, i still find this site specifically interesting. The fairy tale itself has many morals and meanings that have been derived over many years. One being that young girls should not wonder alone with the risk of being the prey of a “predator.” The site’s version of this tale is a bit altered.  First off, there is no dialogue whatsoever. The characters do move their lips as if speaking, but the only sound to be heard is the music that is constantly played in the background. This is very interesting to me (for I studied this tale in my GRW) because the points at which the characters speak, they speak lines from the tale that are commonly known. For instance, the mother telling Red to take the basket of food to her grandmother, and the wolf asking Red where she is headed. However, i find it a good point to note that the scene where the wolf is disguised as the grandmother and the famous lines about teeth, and hair, etc. was completely skipped. And then it seems like Red got mad at the wolf, and appears to either have eaten the wolf..or even more strange: gotten pregnant! So confusing!!! And then there was a point when Red went off the path to pick flowers and fell asleep and we are given the option to let her dream or wake her up. Waking her up continues the tale along on the normal path. But letting her dream, well that is one of the most puzzling parts of this site to me. Her dreams are so weird! I do not understand them at all, and each time I viewed the site, her dreams would change. I wish I could make more of a connection to her dreams, but I honestly do not understand them at all. 

All of this reminded me vagely of a portion of Birkerts’ text when he is talking about his daughter and her fascination with Beauty and the Beast. Though Little Red Riding Hood is not a Disney tale, it does however remind me of how the tale itself has been altered by the media. This site does alter the tale, but it also enforces interesting points of feminism (for instance Red wears pants).  Though I question what the end of the tale means in terms of a moral or even an ending in general. Why is her stomach so large, and inside of it appearing to be an infant versin of the wolf? Also, is the man in the end with the gun supposed to be the hunter? If so, why does he want to kill Red? Is that another feminist view of how men must have the upper hand, and women remain subservient? I do not know!

Writing Assingment 3

Ars Gratia Artis

            Film versions of novels are often below par when it comes to accuracy, detail, and overall quality.  Films are forced to leave out details to fit the time allotted, and also alter events in the novel for more of a theatrical display.  Some films are made with slight elements found inside the original novel or text; these small elements allow the film to become an original story of its own.  Certain elements of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein and Mel Brooks’ direction reveal themselves inside the classic comical parody Young Frankenstein. 

            When reading a novel, one begins to feel certain ways toward events or characters, but why does this happen?  This happens because the author wrote the novel in such a way as to make these feelings occur.  The same thing goes for movies, only there are many more fundamentals that go into a movie that a novel does not possess.  In the film Young Frankenstein, the main character travels to the home of his grandfather in Transylvania and encounters many new things.  When Frederick Frankenstein, the main character, meets his assistant, Igor, an interesting scene to note begins to take place.   Frederick steps off the train and remains standing on the platform in the darkness surrounded by fog as the train chugs away.  Out of the darkness emerges a strange noise that grows louder as though it approaches Frederick.  The camera pans to different angles, searching for the source of the sound, then closes in on Frederick’s face which is struck with terror.  In the back of the audiences’ mind lingers the thought, “This is a comedy, right?”  However that thought is not forwardly acknowledged until the scene continues into the horror of the moment switching almost immediately to humor.  Let’s dive deeper into what made the particular moment of the film slightly frightening.  The scene begins with Frederick alone on the platform.  Right there in this portion alone lies an element of fear, being alone.  Isolation of a person presents vulnerability, especially in the dark, with lots of fog surrounding him.  Then this noise is coming out of the dark and grows louder and louder and louder as it approaches Frederick.  Again, another kind of fearful set up.  But the noise approaching has a companion in the fear department, the music.  The music inside the film adds to the fear (and other emotions) that the audience feels when watching the film.  For the novel, no such music plays in the background while one reads.  Along side music in a film are other elements that a novel does not possess, elements such as sound effects and the tone of the characters’ voices.  When reading a novel, one does not have these sounds and tones to hear and must create how they sound inside their head, or a reader must use their imagination. 

            Although the novel lacks what the film can provide and vice versa, the novel does have some things in common, for instance references.  “From the midst of this darkness a sudden light broke in upon me—a light so brilliant, so wondrous, yet so simple…” (Chapter IV pg. 53).  This quote from the novel took place when Victor Frankenstein discovered that he could give dead tissue life.  In Brooks’ film, Frederick speaks this very same line when reading his grandfather’s journal labeled “How I Did It.”  Coincidence?  No, not at all!  This clearly gives the film an element of ‘intertextuality’ in that it connects the original tale of Frankenstein to Brooks’ parody.  Another reference to note from the film occurs during the few moments before the creature is given life.  When Frederick begins to say aloud, “From that fateful day when stinking bits of slime first crawled from the sea and shouted to the cold stars, ‘I am man!’” (Young Frankenstein), there appears to be a reference towards creation, which adds a connection to Shelley’s novel’s intertextuality to the book of Genesis. 

            There is even more intertextuality, or references, in the film Young Frankenstein.  However, these references do not correlate directly with Mary Shelley’s novel, but to other films.  Brooks used specific details to give his film principles of classic horror films.  For example, the film was made in 1974.  This means that Brooks had the capablity of making the film in color, but instead chose to film in black and white, giving it a characteristic of a true hollywood horror film (with his own humorously creative twist of course).  The addition of major characters, such as Igor, in the film derived themselves from the 1931 film Frankenstein, and the 1935 sequel Bride of Frankenstein. 

            The film Young Frankenstein contains many elements related to Mary Shelley’s novel.  The film has lines and scenes that correspond directly to the book, but also aspects of other works.  These components originate from other films and from other genres.  These elements themselves make this film something of an original entity, but with imitative features.  

Works Cited

Shelly, Mary. Frankenstein. Ed. Maurice Hindle. London: Penguin Books, 2003.

Young Frankenstein. Dir. Mel Brooks. Perf. Gene Wilder, Marty Feldman, Teri Garr, Cloris Leachman, Madeline Kahn, Kenneth Mars, and Gene Hackman. Twentieth Century Fox, 1974. Film.

Frankenstein and Young Frankenstein

For this upcoming assignment, I am attempting to analyze Mel Brooks’ film Young Frankenstein and its relation to the Mary Shelley’s novel. Though this film in its own way is not intending to tell the actual story of Mary Shelley’s novel, it is interpreted as a sequel, in that the main character is the grandson of Victor Frankenstein.  The story of the film I find important for it shows similarities towards the novel.  Fredrick, Victor’s grandson, is a professor at a university teaching some kind of science (possibly chemistry), linking the interests of Fredrick and Victor already.  But it is not just the story inside the film that I am trying to analyze, it is also the elements of the film that make this a comical parody of a tale of horror. 

So what makes this film funny? It is not just the punch lines that actors make, there is much more to the humor.  For instance, my parents and I once watched a little behind the scenes segment about how Marty Feldman (Igor) would change the side on which his hunchback was placed and not tell anyone, until Gene Wilder (Fredrick) noticed during filming, and the scene was kept in the film. So I find that in this film humor can be both created from direction and from completely randomness. 

There are however certain things about the film that clearly were not derived from the novel.  For instance, Igor himself.  No such assistant was present in the book, and Igor claimed to be the grandson of Victor’s assistant.  And in the scene, where Fredrick meets Igor, a slight fear can be derived from the music and sound effects of an approaching being, that sounds disfigured and is limping.  You do not know where the direction of the noise is coming from as the camera attempts to locate where it is coming from. Then from the foggy darkness comes a creepy voice asking, “Dr. Frankenstein?”  One is left wondering to themself for a moment, “Who is this?” Then quickly enough, the humor returns and the relief is given upon discovering that the owner the creepy voice is Fredrick’s new assistant Igor. 

Then of course there is the creation scene. Oh boy! As much as I love this movie, the creation scene was a bit more dramatic and theatrical than I recall from the book. Not to say that this film’s version of it was bad, just that it was (as I think was intended) a bit more dramatic. 

So far that is as far as I have gotten with my analysis of this film. I do intend to dig deeper into the creation scene and some parts of the aftermath. The only difficulties that I am facing with this paper is trying not to dwell on the humor rather than the similarities and differences between the film and the novel. I also am uncertain of the direction that I am heading in with my analysis so far; meaning I am not quite sure what I am exactly trying to writing about.

Writing Assignment #2

Ex Tenebris Lux (From Darkness, Light)

            “In the beginning…”  The first words of the Bible begin this way and continue to develop into the famous story of creation.  Another story of creation, Frankenstein, illuminates an interesting creation much different than that of the one described in the bible.  Mary Shelley’s use of allusion or references in her novel explicitly opens up a door into a new understanding of Frankenstein for me. 

            My interest starts with the word “genesis,” which literally means beginning; how appropriate for the first book in the Bible.  The beginning of earth, of heaven and hell, of man; they all had a beginning and God, the creator of all, saw all he created as good.   Victor Frankenstein’s idea had a beginning as well.  The genesis of Victor’s idea began in a chemistry class that he took.  The professor’s words captured him and provoked him onto the course he then pursued.  “My mind was filled with one thought, one conception, one purpose…I will pioneer a new way, explore unknown powers, and unfold to the world the deepest mysteries of creation” (Chapter 3 pg 49). He basically became separated from the world while he was consumed by his work.   Interestingly enough, the biblical creation took only 7 days and nights to be completed, but Victor’s work took many years to accomplish.  The genesis of Victor’s creation started strong in his mind, but when it became reality in the end, what he created he did not see as good. 

            An important portion in the creation of the world from the biblical perspective would be the famous line where God said, “Let there be light.”  Light is an important symbol in the text of Frankenstein that correlates directly with the aforementioned quote.  While attempting to discover the secret that would give dead tissue life, Victor mentions how the “darkness had no effect upon [his] fancy” (Chapter 4 pg. 52).  Though he was referring to superstitious natures of some and how he was not frightened by such things, the use of darkness as a description emphasizes his discovery in the next portion of text in the novel.  “Until from the midst of this darkness a sudden light broke in upon me” (Chapter 4 pg. 53); there again light and darkness became contrasting elements to express Victor’s revelation.  When God said, “Let there be light,” day and night existed, and darkness was separated from the light.  Light has many uses: light can reveal, illuminate, and clarify, but light can also do the opposite and blind.  Victor did become blinded by his discovery (symbolically the light) and did not fully see what he had uncovered until he completed his work. 

In the Bible after the creation of night and day, and many other creations, man came into existence in the form of Adam.  The creature, Victor’s version of Adam, possessed many differences than the first human created.  The creature had killed Victor’s brother William and Justine’s execution satisfied the law, but not Victor, who knew who really killed his brother.  The creature convinced Victor  while he (Victor) was walking the mountains to come listen to the events of his life.  The creature told him of all that had taken place in his life so far, of how he witnessed the lives of Felix, Agatha, and De Lacey.  The monster also began to tell Victor of how he felt similar, yet extremely different than Adam, God’s creation of man.  “Like Adam, I was apparently united by no link to any other being in existence…he had come forth from the hands of God a perfect creature…but I was wretched, helpless, and alone” (Chapter 15 pg. 132).  The allusion Shelley uses here shows the difference between the creature’s existence and humanity.  Adam received Eve as a companion in his life, but the monster had no such companionship whatsoever.  The monster had no one to share its life with for he was unlike all that existed; he was envious of all for that.  This creature was turned away from all who saw him for he was hideous and menacing.  “God, in pity, made man beautiful and alluring, after his own image; but my form is filthy type of yours (Victor), more horrid even from the very resemblance” (Chapter 15 pg. 133).  The creature knew what he was, he knew he was unlike Adam, and he knew he was alone in all he must endure. 

            The references that Shelley uses in her novel from the Bible reveal deeper meanings inside the minds of the characters and even inside the story itself.  The creation of an unnatural being pitted against the original creation of man, Adam, gives a more insightful perspective of how different the creature that Victor created was from the world.  The biblical allusions give me a more profound interest in Mary Shelley’s novel.

The Frankenstein Obsession

The monster Frankenstein is quite famous. He is know for his towering height, his frightening appearance, and even those bolts in his neck. But having never read the book version of Frankenstein, I find myself seeing a different monster. Being able to only recall pieces of the film version, I find the book version a completely different tale. Frankenstein, the person, not the monster, was a passionate man whose own love for science turned into his own worst nightmare. He was so interested in life, the creation of it and the destruction of it.  His passion soon turned into an obsession, an obsession that led to something horrible.

Though Frankenstein did create this horrid monster that is so famous today, the monster seems to exist to me in his obsession. There is nothing wrong with being obsessed, although some issues can arise from that. For instance, the monster that he created. Frankenstein did discover the secret to giving life, but at what cost? His sanity? His family? All large prices to pay, and some ironically paid with their lives. Like his brother, murdered by the monster but an innocent girl was executed for it.

All through the first 8 chapters or so, we think that this monster is a soulless murderer with the intention of instilling fear. But then I found myself shocked when the monster talked! What catches me is the line where the monster says “I was benevolent and good; misery make me a fiend. Make me happy, and I shall again be virtuous.” This monster, which Frankenstein hated with all he had in himself wanted to tell his tale to his creator.

Why? Why does this monster want to tell his tale? What can he possibly have to say about anything other than the fact that he murdered Frankenstein’s brother? And why is the film version of the monster such a soulless, frightening monster? Why is the film more about fear than about understanding?

Writing Assignment 1

Odi et Amo (I Love and I Hate)

Pain can be described in many forms: pain can be the result of a physical or emotional injuries, and pain can also be the result of particular hardships.  These hardships have been a major part of my life when reading and writing were the tasks.  Reading and writing are supposed to be an educational and even fun event to partake in, however, in my view, they were neither.  My opinions on reading and writing are deeply rooted in the hindrances I face, but the importance of reading and writing, however, is nothing like my opinion.  I find reading and writing to be mysterious and adventurous activities, and also essential parts of life.  My experiences with reading and writing have been rocky to say the least, but the experiences I have faced do not overshadow the significance that exists for me in them. 

As long as I can remember, I have hated reading and writing.  There are many things in life that I dislike, but nothing as much as having to read or write.  You would think that this hatred is because I was a typical child that wanted to go play outside and do anything but what my parents told me to do; however, this is not quite the case in my situation.  I struggle with reading and writing due to a disorder called dyslexia.  Dyslexia is a learning disorder in which words are easily mixed up and even syllables in words are mixed up, for example aminal instead of animal.  I found this particularly difficult when I began learning to read.  “Naturally books became something of a battleground” (Birkerts 38).  Thinking back on certain situations now, I can remember my mom helping me to read but I hating having to try.  I honestly wanted to give up, but everywhere I looked, reading was a necessity.  So I kept trying against my own will, and I began to notice changes.  Of course I still struggle with dyslexia to this day, but no longer do I possess the extreme hatred I felt towards reading.  Having lacked the proper ability to read, I grew to see the importance that reading had for those who also lacked reading skills.  The phrase “you don’t know what you have til it’s gone” comes to mind; be that as it may, never having strong reading skills made me even more jealous towards those who did.  I wanted to succeed in all areas of reading without the setbacks I had.  This drive pushed me toward wanting to do better in my learning processes. 

Though I was held back in my development by my disorder, that was not the only hindrance I faced; the other obstacles I faced into were people.  In sixth grade, I can specifically recall doing a writing assignment on the book A Phantom Tollbooth.  We had to write our opinion of a certain part of the book that we read, and I did this with great pride thinking I had done an extremely good job.  However, in the eyes of one of my classmates, who had been instructed to read my opinion in a peer review by our teacher, this it was quite the opposite.  She told me my opinion was wrong. WRONG?  How can an opinion be wrong?  I was so shocked at this.  And what shocked me even more, was that the teacher did not even notice what had happened.  This hurt me and also discouraged me from attempting to continue working to the fullest of my potential, for I thought no one cared about what I had to say.  For the remainder of my middle school years, I did not do well in English classes.  I never did the work that was assigned, I never read the books we were given to read, and I blocked out the world of reading and writing from my care. 

High school changed everything.  The reasons things changed were because my parents threatened to take away sports, they warned me that college would not be an option if I kept going down this path, and lastly, I met my best friend my freshman year of high school.  You may find the last reason strange, but it is the most significant of all the reasons listed.  Laura Myers (that would be my best friend) is an extraordinary person who changed my life.  She was a reader.  Everytime I saw her, she had a book in her hands.  After she would finish a book, she would tell me about it and then ask if I wanted to borrow it to read.  Numerous times I refused, but one day, I accepted her offer.  As embarrassed as I am to say this, it was beginning of our junior year, and she had just finished reading the book Twilight.  This was the first book I read simply for the purpose of just reading a book; this book made me fall in love with reading.  It was not the story contained in the book, but the representation that the book had for me.  This book was the gateway into an entirely different world I never knew existed because I was never willing to look.  Yet I found that world, and I have never been more happy with how things have turned out for me with my reading abilities.  “I moved into the space of reading as into a dazzling counterworld” (Birkerts 39).  Laura, having seen the difference that her actions made in my life allowed me to keep the book to remind me of what I accomplished.  I am no longer angry with the hand I have been dealt, but instead I am proud that I have overcome my obstacles and grown from my experiences.  “I [became] a dreamer and books were my tools for dreaming” (Birkerts 37).    

Reading and writing can appear to be this daunting and horrifying things that every child hates to do.  But not being able to experience all that reading and writing had to offer me as a child was the worst.  I look back on my life and I wish that I would have realized what I did in high school much earlier.  Reading and writing, with out fearing dyslexia, are an amazing things.  Though I do still struggle, I press on and always remember the joy I felt when things began to change.  My best friend shared the joy she felt from books with me and changed my life.  Reading and writing are things that should be shared with everyone for they are truly a wonderful and powerful activities that can change lives, literally.